Have you ever surprised yourself? Maybe you thought you couldn't bake a soufflé, but you tried anyway, and it turned out flawlessly. Maybe you've always said you wouldn't go skydiving, but you tried it on a whim and realized you had more courage than you imagined. Or maybe, despite all the stories living in your mind, you thought you could never actually write an entire novel, but you started typing (or writing by hand) and didn't stop until you got every last bit of that story out of your brain. We tell ourselves stories about who we are and what we can and can't do, and we often allow those stories to limit us. But the element of surprise is powerful enough to rewrite those stories. We can shock ourselves not only by accomplishing things we never even thought about trying but also by making progress on the things we've always longed to do but thought we weren't good enough to achieve. Often, one surprise leads to another. The more you amaze yourself, the more you're willing to step out of your comfort zone and grow, leading to even greater astonishment later. And you might even inspire someone else to start surprising themselves! For example, I've never been very good at exercising regularly. I was a swimmer in high school but have done relatively little exercise in the years since. Because I'm a creature of the water, I detest land exercises. I've always hated running, and I told myself and others that I was a terrible runner.
So imagine my surprise when, a little over a year ago, I started running. What made me lose my mind in such a way? Well, it was a combination of a minor health issue that made me want to be more active and the inspiration I got from watching my brother-in-law achieve many milestones in his own running journey. I didn't take time to think about it too much because I knew that if I did, I would talk myself out of it. So, feeling like a complete idiot, I started training for a 5K that would take place in only seven weeks. The first few weeks were brutal. After my first run, in which I only ran a few intervals of sixty seconds each, I felt like dying. My legs were jelly. My lungs cursed me. My stomach revolted. But I kept training and, strangely, came to enjoy running. I completed that 5K feeling on top of the world (after a few minutes of feeling as if I might throw up). I didn't stop, even when I wanted to give up. And you know what? That feeling was addictive. Even after my personal achievement of finishing the race, I didn't stop running. I ran another 5K the following spring, and then another one three weeks ago. With each race, I improved my time and learned more about myself and my capabilities. Running opened my eyes to so many possibilities for my life I had never considered before. Now what does this have to do with writing? I'm getting there, I promise. Although becoming a runner kind of came out of nowhere for me, I've always known I wanted to be a writer. And yet, I've always struggled to write. Maybe you can relate. (After all, everyone knows that 90 percent of the writing life is complaining about how you're not writing!) Somehow actually writing an entire book seemed like an impossible task, something only a better person than I could accomplish. But after my small victories with running, I was inspired to make more positive changes in my life. If I could go from not being able to run for even thirty seconds straight to running for thirty minutes straight (longer now!), what else was I capable of? I'd had many story ideas floating around in my head for most of my life and often alternated which one I was focused on developing at any given moment. But a new idea had been forming for a few months, and it felt more concrete than any of the others ever had. I was more excited about it than I had ever been about an idea. It actually felt possible. So, once again allowing no time to talk myself out of it, and spurred on by my triumphant progress with running, I started writing a novel. Those first few weeks were hard. I had to adjust my expectations. And since I didn't really know how to start a novel, I felt a little lost as I began to type. But still, I began. Then something changed. The more I wrote, the more I could write. My productivity and creativity increased. The words flew from my fingertips. Not every day was good, just like not every run is a good run, but I had more good writing days than bad ones. And then, roughly six months after I started, I finished the first draft of my novel. Forget a 5K; that was a marathon! But the training I'd gone through in my running had taught me quite a few lessons that also applied to writing. I learned how to relax and find a rhythm. I now knew how to recover from overexertion without giving up. I discovered that, although it didn't always feel like it, I was in control of my body and my mind. I found joy in the beginning and the doing, not just the ending. I celebrated the good days and learned from the bad days. And, perhaps most importantly, I realized that consistent practice, not flawless performance, was what led to improvement. What stories have you been telling yourself? Maybe you've always thought you couldn't do something or weren't good enough to finish something you started. Those are lies, my friend. All it takes is one tiny victory to prove it. One surprise. Think back to a time when you accomplished some small victory. How did that feel? Remember that astonished triumph, that pleasant bubble of laughter in your chest. It's addictive, isn't it? Allow yourself to pursue that feeling again. Chase your writing dreams, and surprise yourself by taking the first step right now. Don't leave time to talk yourself out of it. I get it. With the end of the year approaching, everyone is busy. And January will bring New Year's resolutions that few will keep. But I want to challenge you, writer. Try something you've never done before, especially as it relates to writing. Do the scary thing. If you've always feared poetry, write a terrible poem and stick it up on your fridge as a reminder that you are brave and capable. If you shy away from short stories, write one and see how it feels. You might find out it's your best medium. If you've always thought you didn't like a certain genre, try it out. The right one might shock you. And if you've always dreamed of writing a novel but never had the courage to start one and stick with it all the way to the end, go for it. I promise that starting is the hardest part. Once you begin, you know you can do it because you've done it before. Then it's just a matter of perseverance. Once you surprise yourself by starting, the only surprise left is that there's nothing you can't do.
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How are you doing, writer? Answer honestly. Are you stressed about work? Are you busy with family, church, or community commitments to the point where you feel like you have no time for yourself? Are you creatively burned-out on your current work in progress (WIP)? I hope you are none of those things, but chances are that you have experienced one or all of these things at some point, not to mention the many other potential hardships of life. Stress is one of the greatest obstacles for a writer. Who has the mental space for creativity when the worries of life are constantly interrupting? If you haven't already read my previous post on how to rock your daily writing habit, I encourage you to check it out and get the most out of each writing session. But today, let's talk about what to do when everything just becomes too much and you need to temporarily step away. Like everyone, I have many roles. I'm a proofreader and editor with clients who depend on me. I'm a writer who's nearly finished with the first draft of my current WIP (anyone else feel like the last 20,000 words are the hardest of all?). I'm a student who's studying copyediting. I'm an athlete who runs not only to stay in shape but also for the unexpected pleasure it brings to my life. I am all these things and more.
With all this on my plate, it's no wonder that I recently became overwhelmed. I'd just finished a large proof-editing project, during which I'd noticed my creative output suffering. If you've ever spent an entire day analyzing someone else's writing (for weeks on end), you'll know how difficult it is to turn off that analytical brain to read a novel for pleasure—and how it's even more difficult to switch your brain into creative-writer mode. My schedule for the next few months was starting to fill up with work. Although I enjoyed the work I was doing and looked forward to the work to come, I was mentally and physically exhausted. The progress on my WIP had slowed significantly; I was so close to the climax of my novel but was stuck in a scene leading up to it. So I took a break. I visited my parents, and for a whole week, I didn't think about all the things I needed to get done when I got back. I left them all behind and, for once, let myself enjoy each moment as it came. I didn't do any editing. I didn't respond to email. I didn't study. I didn't write. I didn't even run. What did I do instead? I went to the zoo with my parents. I swam in the pool and lay in the sun with my mom. I helped my dad replace the brake pads on my car (I use the term help loosely; I held the flashlight and handed him tools). I went to my nephew's adorable third-grade football practice. I watched a few movies. I read a book, allowing myself to simply enjoy the story. In short, I set aside the many demands I normally place on myself and decided to just . . . be. The result? I came back utterly refreshed and ready to hit the ground running in all aspects of my life, including my writing. Of course, I didn't just drop everything and run away for a week. I planned and prepared for it. I didn't schedule any client work during that week, and I took care of any tasks that I would have normally done that week before I left. You see, rest and refreshment don't just happen. You have to make space for them. If you're feeling overwhelmed, you're probably not in the right frame of mind to meet your writing goals, whatever those may be. When your creativity is suffering, it can be natural to think there's something wrong with you. You tell yourself that you're not a good enough writer. You blame writer's block. You think that you just need to push through, especially if you're on a deadline. But those are untrue and unhelpful views. You are good enough. Writer's block is just a form of resistance with an underlying cause. And pushing through simply for a deadline can result in poor quality work. My recommendation is that you stop. I'm not talking about quitting—just take a break. Now, I know not everyone has the luxury of being able to take a week off whenever they need to. And you may have obligations that you can't take a break from, like your kids' school activities. But I bet you can find at least one day to spend on yourself—one day where you release any expectations and don't do anything you consider "work." That includes writing. Drop the kids off at their grandma's. Ignore your email. Don't cook, unless that brings you joy. Ride your bike. Read a book for pleasure. Paint your nails. Take a walk. Color in a coloring book. See an old friend or go on a date with your significant other. Keep any plans you make loose, and go with the flow of the day. Stay in the moment, and do what feels good. And most importantly, don't write. Don't even think about your current project. I promise it will still be there tomorrow. At the end of your break, no matter how long or short, I hope your creativity is renewed. Sometimes all we need is to get out of our own heads, take a deep breath, and approach our creative work with a fresh perspective. I talk about confidence a lot. I want to help writers be bold and overcome their fears. I want them to be confident in their skills and brave enough to tell their stories to the world. But can I let you in on a little secret? Helping others be confident is one of my primary goals because confidence is something I've struggled with a lot. I know what it's like to second-guess my own opinions, abilities, or knowledge. The primary result of having low confidence is inaction. People who are not confident will freeze up in crises, avoid difficult problems, and delay chasing their dreams. They don't take action, nothing in their life changes, and their confidence plunges even lower. So how do you get out of this downward spiral, boost your confidence, and see positive change in your life? There's a simple solution: you take action. Last year, to my utmost surprise, I became a runner. (And that's a whole other discussion for another time.) As a newbie runner, I've become a fan of the Nike guided runs, which help motivate and inspire me as well as teach me how to run better. On one of my recent guided runs, Head Coach Bennett gave me some food for thought every few minutes in order to work out my mind as well as my body. One of these thoughts struck a chord with me: "Courage lies just beyond the reach of confidence." Many thoughts and discussions could come from this one sentence, but what resonated with me was an idea I've been ruminating on for a while. Confidence doesn't come before you take action; confidence comes because you take action. And how do you take action with no confidence? Courage. Courage gets you past the limit of your certainty. You have to be brave and take the first step, like Indiana Jones and his leap of faith, knowing that confidence will follow and give you a bridge to stand on. Can you think of a time when you were scared to do something but you did it anyway? How did you feel afterward? If you succeeded, I'd be willing to bet that you felt fantastic. There's nothing that boosts your confidence like accomplishing something you didn't think you could do. And even if you failed, you still accomplished something. You took action and practiced ignoring your insecurities. You pushed forward through the fear and crossed the proverbial finish line. That builds confidence too, because now you know that you can do hard things and still survive. This concept of courage before confidence can lead to growth in so many areas of our lives. But specifically for your writing life, I'd encourage you to take that leap of faith. What is it that you've been avoiding? Do you hesitate to begin writing your story, thinking that you lack the skill to put what's in your head onto the page? Have a little courage and begin anyway. Skill comes with practice. Are you afraid to share your writing with the world or even your closest friends, worried by the criticism that might come? Take a deep breath and share it anyway. The more you share, the easier it will be. The only way to build confidence is to have the courage to go beyond your comfort zone. And you know what? That zone will grow with every step you take. Perfection. It's a word I simultaneously cherish and despise. And even though I know I can never achieve it, I'm constantly pursuing it. Does that sound like you too? Do you ever give up on something before you've even started because you know it will never be perfect? Or, if you do begin, do you spend countless hours tweaking and still feel like you've fallen short? It's a common problem among writers especially. We wait for the perfect moment to start writing that novel, once the house is clean, the kids are in bed, or all our work responsibilities are complete. We write and rewrite the same passage over and over in the vain hope that this time the words will convey all that we intended and more. We check and recheck for our own errors, frustrated that each pass reveals more inadequacies. In short, we obsess. Anything that isn't perfect is unacceptable and must be redone. And when we fall short again and again, we feel like failures. But that's a lie. You know why? Because perfection is a lie, too. The simple truth is that nothing in this world is or ever will be perfect. Not me. Not you. Not your writing. Not mine. The solution to perfectionism is simple, but you may not want to hear it: Let it go. I know, that's easier said than done. Trust me, that can be hard to come to terms with. Even though we know logically that it's true, something within us still screams, "But wait! If I just try a little harder, everything will finally come together flawlessly." But that's never going to happen. And do you know what this continual striving for the unattainable costs us? Time, energy, money, peace of mind. If we keep pushing against an immovable barrier, we'll never be able to enjoy life. What a waste. So where does that leave us? Well, I'm not an expert at overcoming perfectionism, but I think it really comes down to trust. At a certain point, you have to trust in yourself and your skills enough to know that you've done your best. Set a limit for yourself, and once you reach it, step back, take a deep breath, and trust that you did everything you could. Then let it go and move on. When it comes to your writing, this is especially crucial. Anything you write should definitely be edited and rewritten to an extent. That's how writing gets better. But eventually, enough is enough, and continued tweaking will start to make your writing worse. Sometimes success is found in completing something you set out to do, no matter how poor the quality of the final product. Just do it. Be content in the knowledge that you did a hard thing and didn't give up. Trust in your skill. Trust in your audience's ability to have grace if they find any blemishes. Many famous writers have said that writing is never finished; you just have to choose to surrender it. So write. Do your best. Take a deep breath and hit submit. And trust that it's enough. |
AuthorErica is a full-service book editor and writer seeking to help other writers polish their work with confidence. Archives
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